


kiss me goodnight (like a good friend might)

by SJAandDWfan



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, No Homophobia AU, aka alyssa is Pining and prom is coming up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJAandDWfan/pseuds/SJAandDWfan
Summary: Alyssa Greene was certain of three things in life.One: Her mother was going to drive her to insanity before she turned eighteen.Two: The school’s prom budget had no right to be as extravagant as it was.Three: She was in love with her best friend, who would never love her back.
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 126





	kiss me goodnight (like a good friend might)

**Author's Note:**

> title from "1000 times" by sara bareilles

Alyssa Greene was certain of three things in life.

One: Her mother was going to drive her to insanity before she turned eighteen.

Two: The school’s prom budget had no right to be as extravagant as it was.

Three: She was in love with her best friend, who would never love her back.

These were the facts of life that she’d long since accepted. Her mother would never change, the school’s finances would always be a mystery, and Emma would never be interested in her as anything more than a friend. She could live with all that, she really could. She could ignore the ache in her heart whenever she looked at Emma.

Emma didn’t owe her anything. Being best friends was enough. Alyssa would never tell her how she felt, for fear of ruining that.

Still, senior prom was coming up, and Alyssa had a few choices. She could wait and see if Emma asked her to go (unlikely, but it was still possible that she would ask her to go as friends), she could ask Emma to prom as friends herself (and hide how much she wanted the whole prom experience with her), or she could just suck it up and go by herself (and hope that Emma didn’t have a real date). Option one rested on Emma’s shoulders, option two was too scary to seriously consider, so it was looking like option three might just be the way to go.

Well, there were worse things in life than going to prom alone.

* * *

“Carrie Delgatto asked me to prom today,” Emma said conversationally, leaning against Alyssa’s headboard as they sat watching  _ The Good Place _ in her bedroom. Alyssa felt like her entire body had been dunked in a tank of ice water.

“Oh?” she managed weakly. She didn’t turn to look at Emma. “What did you say?”

She saw Emma shrug out of the corner of her eye. “I said no.”

That got Alyssa’s attention. “But… why?”

“I don’t know,” Emma sighed. “I think she has a legitimate crush on me, and I don’t wanna lead her on, you know?”

“So… you don’t like her back?” Alyssa asked in a small voice, insides twisting uncomfortably.

Emma shook her head. “I don’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s great, but… I just don’t feel it.”

“It?”

“That feeling that you’re supposed to get around someone you really like,” Emma said. Alyssa finally turned to look at her properly, meeting Emma’s eyes immediately. “Like you can’t breathe, but if you were apart from them, then you wouldn’t survive either.”

Alyssa laughed nervously. “Are you sure you’re not just thinking of asthma?”

“Yeah, you know what, I think I did get love and asthma confused,” Emma said, with a grin that melted Alyssa’s insides. “My bad.”

They were silent for a moment, just looking at each other, before Emma shifted and quirked her lips to the side thoughtfully.

“I don’t even know if I’m going to prom.”

“What?” Alyssa blurted.

Emma fiddled with the edge of Alyssa’s comforter. “It’s just a dance,” she said, a little sadly. “And I don’t think I can, um… Besides, there’s a fundraising thing in South Bend for this charity my gran’s involved with, so I might just go to that instead and help out there.”

Options one and two had just been flung out of the window, then. Alyssa swallowed down her disappointment and put on an encouraging smile.

“That sounds like it could be fun,” she said. “Sometimes I kind of wish I didn’t have to go, either.”

“Regretting joining the prom committee?” Emma teased.

“Maybe a little.”

“Promise you’ll take lots of pictures for me?” Emma asked, looking at her with those deep hazel eyes of hers that Alyssa couldn’t say no to, even if she wanted to.

“Yeah. I promise.” Alyssa managed a smile before she turned back to her laptop, which was resting on both of their legs. 

She could feel Emma’s hip pressed lightly against her own, their arms just barely brushing, and she had to fight to stop shivers going down her spine. It was like this every time she was close to Emma. Her skin tingled, her insides twisted, her breath came shorter. She’d gotten good at hiding it from Emma - who probably would’ve remained oblivious to her feelings even if she hadn’t been as good at it - but she still had to deal with the way being in close proximity to her best friend made her feel.

And yet, she would much rather struggle to hide her reaction at being close to Emma, than not be close to her at all.

* * *

“You’re in a stompy mood,” Mrs. Greene noted, as Alyssa shut the front door behind Emma and made her way to the kitchen. “Emma’s not staying for dinner?”

“No, she had to get back,” Alyssa mumbled. “And I’m not stompy.”

“If you say so, sweetheart,” her mom said lightly, turning back to the counter and resuming her carrot-peeling. Alyssa leaned against the opposite counter for a long moment, chewing on her bottom lip and stewing in silence, before she eventually couldn’t keep it to herself anymore.

“She’s not going to prom.”

Mrs. Greene put down the peeler. “Emma?”

“Yeah. She’s just… not going, can you believe that?” Alyssa frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “She’s doing some dumb fundraiser with her gran instead. Not that charity’s dumb, I just…”

“Wanted to go to prom with her.”

Alyssa’s cheeks burned. “As a friend, mom.”

Her mom just gave her a sympathetic smile. “Okay, honey.”

She picked up the peeler again, but before Alyssa knew it, more words were spilling out of her mouth.

“It’s just that the prom committee and I worked really hard on it and she’s not even going to be there,” she said, in a rush. “I guess I just assumed she’d go, especially because there’s girls lining up to ask her to be their date.”

Mrs. Greene once again put down the peeler and turned to face Alyssa. “Like who?”

“Well, like Carrie Delgatto, for one,” Alyssa practically spat out the name. “She asked Emma to prom today but Emma said no because she didn’t want to lead her on. She knows Carrie has a crush on her. I mean, everyone does.”

“Well, if even Emma knows, then it has to be the least subtle crush in history,” Mrs. Greene mused, eyebrows raised. “Unlike someone’s.”

Alyssa clenched her jaw. “Mom. Emma and I are best friends.”

“I know you are.”

“I can’t—she doesn’t—it’s just complicated and I don’t want to talk about it,” Alyssa said hurriedly.

Mrs. Greene sighed heavily. “Alyssa, this isn’t healthy. You’re just torturing yourself.  _ Talk _ to her.”

“I’m not losing her.” Alyssa shook her head firmly. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Alyssa…”

“Mom!” Alyssa blinked back frustrated tears. “Just drop it, okay?”

And with that, Alyssa turned on her heel and stormed up to her room.

* * *

“There’s this purple dress I have my eye on,” Alyssa said, taking her Chem book out of her locker and shutting it, looking at Emma, who was leaning against the lockers next to hers. “It’s beautiful, Em.”

Emma gave her a soft smile. “I bet it looks even more beautiful on you.”

Shrugging her shoulders and fighting off the fierce blush that threatened to color her cheeks, Alyssa tried her very best to calm her racing heart. It was just a compliment. It wasn’t as if Emma never complimented her. That’s what best friends did, after all.

Just then, someone came up to them. Alyssa realized it was Jess, a girl she shared a few classes with. She was pretty sure they’d worked together on a History assignment in fall semester. Clearly, even  _ she _ was shooting her shot with Emma. But it was Alyssa that Jess turned to.

“Hi, Alyssa,” she said. Alyssa blinked a couple of times in surprise.

“Jess. Hey. How are you?”

“Good, I’m good,” Jess replied. She cleared her throat. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?”

“Go to…” Alyssa’s eyes widened. Her gaze slid over Jess’ shoulder to Emma, whose eyes were on the floor as she tried not to eavesdrop. “I…”

“It’s not a big commitment or anything,” Jess promised. “I just thought that since we had fun on that project then going to prom together would be fun, too.”

Alyssa’s shoulders relaxed slightly. She gave Emma another glance, hoping against hope that she would swoop in and ask her instead, but Emma was studiously avoiding her gaze. Besides, Emma wasn’t going to prom anyway. Who said Alyssa had to go alone? Mabe there’d been a fourth option all along that she hadn’t considered. Maybe she could  _ finally _ start getting over her feelings for Emma, even if it was only one evening of distraction.

She forced her gaze away from Emma and back to Jess. “Sure. Why not?”

“Awesome,” Jess said, grinning at her. “Pick you up at seven?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa said, watching Jess saunter off and merge back into the hallway crowd. “Seven. Sounds good.”

“That was…” Emma said quietly, still not looking at her. “Well, good for you, Lys. That’s great. Jess is… great.”

Alyssa nodded a little jerkily. “Yeah. That’s… beats going alone, you know?”

“Yeah,” Emma said. She sucked in a breath. “I just remembered I have to go… do things. I’ll catch you later.”

Before Alyssa could question her, or even say goodbye, Emma pushed off from the lockers and quickly walked away. Alyssa held onto her textbook tightly as she watched her go, feeling awful, although she wasn’t entirely sure why.

* * *

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart,” Mrs. Greene told her, sliding the final bobby pin into place in Alyssa’s elaborate updo. “And you’ll look even more so in that dress.”

“Thanks, mom,” Alyssa said quietly, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

Her mother brushed away a single tear. “Wow. Senior prom already.”

“Yeah,” Alyssa murmured. “Columbia’s on the horizon.”

“I honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope with you all the way in New York,” Mrs. Greene sighed. “At least you’ll have Emma.”

Alyssa swallowed. She’d never have Emma, not the way she wanted. “Yeah.”

“When’s your date arriving?” Mrs. Greene asked. Alyssa shook herself out of it, checking the time on her phone.

“Twenty minutes.”

Mrs. Greene nodded, brushing her thumbs across Alyssa’s shoulders. “I’ll leave you to get changed, then. Just let me know if you need zipping up.”

“I will,” Alyssa promised. Her mother made her way to the door. Alyssa tapped her fingers on her thigh before turning in her chair to look at her. “Mom? Thank you.”

Mrs. Greene stopped, leaning against the doorframe and smiling indulgently at her. “I love you, Alyssa. Have fun tonight.”

“Love you too, mom,” Alyssa said.

Her mother left the bedroom, and then Alyssa was alone. She sighed heavily, wondering if Emma had made it to the fundraiser by now. Things had been a little different since Jess had asked her to prom, and Alyssa didn’t know how to fix them, or even if there was anything that needed to be fixed. Emma insisted she was fine. But Alyssa didn’t buy it.

She crossed the room to her closet, where her purple dress was hanging from the top of the door. The material was soft under her fingertips. Carefully, she unbuttoned the flannel she’d been wearing while her makeup had been done, and realized with a pang that it was one of Emma’s shirts, left here after a sleepover. Her heart clenched as she held the shirt in her hands gently, almost reverently, and brought it to her nose. It still smelled like Emma. Alyssa was so used to her scent that she hadn’t even consciously realized when she’d been wearing it.

Alyssa willed herself not to cry.

Instead, she busied herself by stepping out of the soft cotton shorts she’d had on and slipping on her prom dress. She smoothed down the fabric, making sure it was sitting right on her, before reaching behind her back to zip it up. She got the zipper almost all the way to the top without help.

She reached for her shoes, small silver heels, and put them on, sitting on the edge of her bed to do up the little straps. She put her phone, keys and lipstick in the silver clutch bag she’d bought along with the dress and shoes, and took a deep breath before leaving her bedroom and walking downstairs to ask her mom to help with the zipper.

* * *

The closer the clock ticked to seven, the more restless Alyssa became. She wasn’t nervous, per se - she didn’t like Jess in that way, after all - but she was eager to actually get to prom and see how the gym looked. Strictly speaking, as a member of the prom committee, she should’ve probably been there early, but her friend Kaylee had made a big show of relieving her of those particular duties.

Seven o’clock came and went with Alyssa sat at the dining room table opposite her mom.

She fidgeted with her hands as the minutes went by, determinedly not breaking the silence, and absolutely refusing to look up at her mother. She didn’t want to see the pity in her eyes. Jess was probably just running late, was all. She hadn’t texted, but she was probably driving. Maybe she couldn’t find the right house.

At seven-twenty, she heard her mother get up and go to the bathroom. She still didn’t look up.

At seven-thirty, she set her forearms on the table and rested her head on them.

At seven-forty-five, she finally looked up at her mother, who hadn’t said a word the entire time. Alyssa swallowed.

“She’s not coming, is she?”

She’d been stood up.

Her mother reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Give it another fifteen minutes? After that, if you don’t want to go anymore, we can order takeout and have a movie night?”

Alyssa nodded, biting the inside of her mouth. She didn’t really see the point in waiting. Jess had obviously, for reasons best known to herself, decided not to show up. Alyssa didn’t care so much about the Jess part, but it still stung to know that she was apparently worth so little that the girl couldn’t even text her to let her know she wasn’t coming.

She felt ridiculous, sat at the table in her dress and heels and with her hair and makeup done, and all for nothing. And here was option five. Get asked to prom, get stood up, not go to prom. Alyssa wished she’d have just decided to go alone from the outset.

Deep down, she wished that she and Emma had gone together, even if it was as friends, because that would’ve been infinite times better than  _ this _ was. But she’d been too scared to ask Emma, and Emma was at the fundraiser anyway, so it didn’t matter. Maybe tomorrow, once Emma got back, they could go get ice cream or something to cheer her up. She leaned her forehead on her arms again, shoulders trembling as the tears finally came.

The clock had just ticked past eight when there was a sharp knock at the front door.

Alyssa’s head shot up, eyes meeting her mom’s in surprise. Had Jess finally turned up after all? Alyssa didn’t know if she even wanted to see her face after the past hour, but her mother nodded her head towards the door.

“You should probably get that.”

Alyssa sighed heavily and got to her feet. She probably looked like a mess, but she didn’t care. Let Jess see her running mascara; her tear-stained cheeks. Alyssa wanted her to know that this wasn’t okay. She paused with her hand on the doorknob, took one last deep breath, and pulled the front door open.

Emma was standing on her doorstep.

Alyssa felt like she couldn’t breathe; like all the air had been knocked out of her in an instant. Her brain, already slow to process, glitched entirely out of existence. 

“Emma, what…” she whispered hoarsely. “I thought you were in South Bend.”

“I was,” Emma said quietly. Alyssa hadn’t noticed until now, but she was dressed up in a velvet blazer and dress pants with a crisp white button-up shirt and a tie. She looked incredible. 

Alyssa swallowed. “What are you doing here?”

“What are  _ you _ doing here, Lys?” Emma asked gently. “You’re meant to be having the time of your life at the prom  _ you _ helped put together.”

“Jess was a no-show,” Alyssa said, laughing bitterly.

“I know.” Emma lifted one shoulder in a tiny half-shrug, hazel eyes soft. “Your mom called me.”

“She…” Alyssa leaned against the doorframe, forehead creasing in confusion. For the first time, she registered that Emma was clutching something tightly in her hands. “What’s that?”

“It’s, uh, a corsage,” Emma whispered. She held it out with trembling hands. “I got it for you.”

“Em…”

“I got it for you over a month ago.” Emma’s voice was thick with emotion, and Alyssa looked up to meet her nervous gaze. Something like butterflies kicked off in her stomach. “I was gonna—I wanted to—shit, I’m doing this so badly.”

Alyssa’s breath caught in her throat. “Doing what?”

Emma closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again, calmer. “Alyssa Greene, will you give me the honor and privilege of going to prom with you?”

“You want to go to prom with me?” Alyssa’s voice was smaller in her own ears than she’d ever heard it. 

“Yes,” Emma said. Her eyes were shining. “I want to go to prom with you. More than anything.”

Alyssa’s lower lip trembled as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. “I want to go to prom with you, too. You’re the only person I ever  _ wanted _ to go with.”

“I am?”

“Always.”

Emma’s breathing was shallow. “I was going to ask you,” she admitted. “In the hallway, when you were talking about your dress. And then…”

“Jess asked me,” Alyssa murmured. “But… but I only said yes to her because you weren’t going to prom at all.”

“I said I didn’t  _ know _ if I was going to prom,” Emma said, shifting on the spot. “I didn’t want to stand there like an idiot while you danced with another girl, so it was only after Jess asked you that I decided I wasn’t going for sure.”

Alyssa closed her eyes. “Oh, Emma. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Emma shook her head quickly. “You didn’t know. I mean, how could you know when I was too scared to actually ask you?”

“No, I’m sorry because I was too scared to ask  _ you _ ,” Alyssa said, hesitantly reaching out and curling a hand around Emma’s wrist. Emma’s eyes widened. 

“My tie is purple,” she blurted out.

Alyssa’s eyes dropped to her tie. It was indeed purple; different shades swirling together like a galaxy. 

Emma gulped. “I got it to match your dress, even if we wouldn’t be in the same place.”

“God, I thought I was done crying tonight,” Alyssa choked out, her face crumpling. In an instant, Emma’s hand that wasn’t clutching the corsage was on her cheek, thumb wiping away the tears falling from her eyes. Alyssa’s heart stuttered in her chest.

“Please don’t cry, Lys,” Emma whispered. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I’d go anywhere with you, okay?”

Alyssa managed a weak laugh. “I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to go to this stupid prom with you. We’re going.”

“Okay.” Emma smiled, holding out the corsage. “May I?”

Alyssa nodded, letting Emma slip the white flowers over her hand and tie the corsage around her wrist. She noticed a matching boutonniere on the lapel of Emma’s suit jacket and swore she fell even more in love.

Emma rubbed her thumb back and forth over Alyssa’s knuckles. “You look even more beautiful than I thought you would.”

“Em, I’m pretty sure half of my foundation has been replaced by half of my mascara.”

“It has.” Emma shrugged, meeting her gaze shyly. “I stand by what I said.”

Alyssa didn’t think she’d ever felt as  _ seen  _ as she did in that moment, and honestly, it took all of her self-restraint not to just give in and kiss Emma right there on her doorstep.

“I wish I’d just asked you to prom, for real, to begin with,” she admitted. “I just didn’t want to lose you if you said no.”

“You could  _ never _ lose me,” Emma murmured. She swallowed nervously, eyes finding Alyssa’s and holding the contact. “I… I’m in love with you, Alyssa.”

Alyssa drew in a ragged breath. “W-What?”

“I’m in love with you,” Emma repeated. “I just... wanted you to know. And I don’t  expect—that  is to say, you don’t  need to—” 

Alyssa’s self-restraint gave out.

She stepped outside, took Emma’s face in her hands, and kissed her.

Emma’s lips were warm and soft and instantly addictive. Alyssa had dreamed about kissing them before, and now that she was experiencing it for real, she couldn’t imagine ever wanting to stop. For all that she’d clearly been taken by surprise, Emma kissed her back a second later, wrapping her arms around Alyssa’s waist and holding her close.

Alyssa screwed her eyes shut tight, feeling a lump rise in her throat when Emma let out a breathless little sound against her lips. She kissed Emma harder, trying to pour everything she felt into it, trying to reassure Emma that she felt the same, and always had.

Their kisses were tinged with an emotional kind of desperation; they clutched at each other with shaking hands. Alyssa pressed herself as close to Emma as she could get, taking everything Emma was giving, scratching lightly at the back of Emma’s neck until her lips parted in a gasp.

Emma broke the kiss, but kept Alyssa close, grasping her hips and pulling her head back to stare at her in open-mouthed wonder. Alyssa’s eyes flickered around Emma’s face. She’d never felt so… awake.

“I’m in love with you, Emma Nolan,” she whispered. “I think I have been since before I knew what love was.”

She ran her thumb over Emma’s bottom lip, feeling the full-body shiver it produced, before leaning back in and kissing her again. Emma’s parted lips fit perfectly against her own. She could taste salt from her own tears, but she didn’t care, busying herself with committing the shape of Emma’s mouth to memory.

Someone clearing their throat behind Alyssa startled her out of her Emma-induced haze. She drew back, blinking in confusion, before Emma’s gaze sliding over her shoulder clued her into the fact that her mother was watching.

Alyssa grabbed Emma’s hand with one of her own, turning around to see her mom beaming at them from the hallway. She was holding Alyssa’s clutch purse in one hand and a makeup wipe in the other.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she said, “but I thought you might need these.”

“Thanks, mom,” Alyssa said, cheeks flushed. She let go of Emma’s hand for a moment, dashing back inside the house and throwing her arms around her mother in a tight hug. “For everything.”

“Have the best time, darling,” Mrs. Greene said, wiping under Alyssa’s eyes with the makeup wipe and handing over the clutch. “Be home before midnight.”

Alyssa nodded. “I will.”

With that, she spun on her heel, a grin splitting her face for the first time in what felt like weeks as she made her way back to Emma, who was waiting for her with a slightly dazed expression on her face. Alyssa shut the front door behind her, turning to face Emma and looking her up and down.

“Wow. I didn’t tell you before, but you look… so hot,” she said, not quite able to believe that she could say things like that and  _ mean it _ the way she did. Emma’s cheeks flushed red, and she looked so cute that Alyssa couldn’t help but step into her personal space and press a soft kiss to her lips. Holy shit, she could  _ do _ that now.

She leaned her forehead against Emma’s when they parted, sucking her own bottom lip into her mouth and shivering pleasantly when she realized she could taste Emma’s chapstick as well as her own lipstick. Alyssa felt the pad of Emma’s thumb brush the corner of her mouth and exhaled shakily.

“You had a little…” Emma’s hoarse voice trailed off when Alyssa returned the gesture, swiping her thumb just under her mouth.

“You had a lot,” she said shyly.

Emma just stared at her, dumbstruck. “I can’t believe this is real.”

“Me neither,” Alyssa said. “I love you,” she said again, breathless, unable to help herself.

Emma’s smile melted Alyssa’s heart past the point of no return. “I love you, too.”

“So. Prom?” Alyssa’s free hand found one of Emma’s, holding on tight. Emma nodded fervently.

“Prom.”

* * *

Alyssa Greene wasn’t certain of many things in life.

For example, maybe her mother wouldn’t drive her to the point of insanity after all. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have assumed that Emma could never return her feelings.

But, as she walked into the gym hand in hand with Emma, there were a couple of things that Alyssa  _ was _ absolutely certain of.

One: She was in love with her best friend.

Two: Seriously, how the hell did the school afford this prom?

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos fuel me during quarantine <3 hope you're all safe and well


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